Friends can be a funny thing. There are the friends you met in school. The ones from college or university. Those that you met on the job. Or maybe you have new friends from the dog park. Last but not least, there are also new mom friends.
I have some friends in
all most of those categories. High school for me was almost 30 years ago (wow!). So, I don’t have a lot of friends still from that time. There are a couple of girls that keep in sporadic touch (read: facebook) and I know we will always be friends, but we just don’t see each other.
I would say I now have 2 groups of friends that I see and spend most of my time with. There is a group of us that met while working for the same company about 18 years ago. None of us work there anymore, we have all married and had children, but we still text, email and get together fairly regularly. We are like minded and have a good time when we are together.
The last group of friends are those I have met with my children. Or should I say, my children have met friends because I have become friends with the moms at my kids’ schools. Did you catch all of that ? My kids are just finishing up preschool and grade 1 and some of the first friends they had were a direct result of me.
Yes, me. I was one of the moms jockeying for position at school drop offs/pick ups to meet other moms, to have playdates and someone to talk to in the park. And you know what, a few years in and I am still friends with some of those moms.
There is one other group to mention. The family friends. People you have known forever. Since before high school (why does everyone use that as a marker of time?). Our parents were friends and we, the kids became friends. These friendships go through ebbs and flows. Good years and bad. Staying in touch with this type of friend has not been easy for me. It might be easier to get an audience with the Pope (should you choose to) than to pin this girl down for a coffee. It really shouldn’t be that difficult, but sometimes it is. And. it. bugs. me. I really don’t think anyone is that busy. But when you finally get to have that coffee with her, you pick up right where you left off and its nice to have someone that knows you; your background, your story, your life.
But there is a time when you have to let a friendship go. Or not work so hard at keeping in touch. Yes, you had fun when you were together, but life has changed. Maybe you no longer work together. Maybe the fun neighbour moved away and those few extra blocks make a difference. Or, it’s the mom whose kids go to a different school now and have different activities. It is just not so easy to get together and you don’t enjoy her company enough to keep it going.
So, I think it’s ok to let it go. I believe there are friends for different times of your life and there is nothing wrong with that. I like the people in my life now. Well, most of them and they know who they are.