So, I’m on vacation with my hub and two daughters last week. We’re sitting in the sun, enjoying lunch when hub of six months suddenly says “Don’t move.” It’s got to be a bee or spider or something equally hideous on my head, I think immediately.
I was right. “You’ve got a hair growing out of your chin,” he says as he leans over and pulls it out. Seriously? Yup, there it was. A longish, thankfully blonde hair between his fingers. Growing out of my chin?
“You’ve got more.” This from my daughters. Thanks to the sun and the angle at which I’m sitting they are able to see the rays bouncing off the hair on my chin. “It’s just peach fuzz,” says husband, seeing the horror displayed on my face.
That was enough for me. Back at the hotel I close the bathroom door, turn up the lights and pull out the tweezers. Peach fuzz, my ass. Well not on my ass but definitely on my face. I twist and turn and contort my face at all angles and sure enough there are more of these longish hairs poking out the very bottom of my chin. But that’s not all. What no one has spotted is the single DARK hair that has managed to work its way out. WHAT??!! I yanked it out and laid it on my finger. I’m officially growing hairs in weird places. What’s next? Coming out my ears and nose? Isn’t that what happens to old people?
This is my weapon:
Later that day I get in the car solo to hit the grocery store. It’s still sunny so I pull down the visor and flip open the mirror to take a look. Natural light is a blessing and a curse. Stray eyebrow hairs on each side. Not sure how long they’ve been there.
And waaaaaiiiit a minute…Is that something coming out my neck? Ohmygosh. Dark hair, single strand. Growing out my neck. I’m repulsed. Thankfully I keep tweezers in my purse (for emergency purposes). This is an emergency. Seconds later, all hairs visible to me are gone. That neck hair was no joke. Wondered at the time how many people had seen it and not said anything…
Pool lounging the next day and eavesdropping on two women who appear to be my age, though more well-preserved. One asks the other if she has any random hairs growing around her belly button. My ears perk up. Does she? Laughter ensues and the two joke about stray hairs, where they grow, what their husbands say (did i hear one gal mention her husband pets it like a cat?) and how they take care of them. Dermaplaning, lasers and a couple other treatments I’ve never heard of.
This hair thing is serious. My eldest daughter was blessed (?) with her father’s full, bushy eyebrows. Mannish brows, she calls them. Hates them. We spend time each morning brushing them and occasionally she has let me pluck one or two. I convince her she will love them when she is older and threaten her life if she ever takes tweezers or scissors to any hairs on her body without professional help. We decide to call in the professionals and get her first eyebrow wax. Best. Decision.
Her new brows are still thick yet not so mannish. The subtle waxing opened her pretty eyes right up and even my self-critical tween likes the results. She’s getting braces this week and we need all the confidence building we can get.
My brows were another story, however. While I seem to be growing new hairs in unwanted places, my brows seem to be thinning. Brow girl at the salon gently mentions neuBrow. Have I heard of it? Really works, she says. Hmph.
Have you heard of it?
Upon further examination, I decide she could be right. Haven’t I been filling them in for while now?
Oh, the sun’s out. I’ve got to get my tweezers and a mirror and do a self-check.