Father’s Day

As Father’s Day winds down, I would like to say thanks to my husband for being such a great Dad to our kids. They have a lot of fun together are really lucky to have him as their father.

My own Dad is a pretty quiet guy, but a good guy. Back in the late 60s when my sister and I were born, my Dad and others like him waited outside the delivery room until the baby was born and then were given the go ahead to pass out cigars. Times have since changed, but my Dad was ahead of his time.

He was pretty hands on while we were little and wasn’t afraid of raising two girls. We camped, fished and hiked with him, until sometime early in our teen years, when we discovered the mall with our mom. Although, our outdoor pursuits with him slowly came to an end, the skills he taught us still live on. Read what my sister recently wrote, here: Like Father, Like Daughter

That said, our Dad is a steady eddy kind of guy. And what is he doing for Father’s Day? Fishing with his buddies. Probably one of his favourite ways to spend time. Hope you catch a big one, Dad!

Good stuff.

“When people show you who they are, believe them the first time.
~Maya Angelou

Remember this because it will happen many times in your life. When people show you who they are the first time believe them. Not the 29th. time. When a man doesn’t call you back the first time, when you are mistreated the first time, when someone shows you lack of integrity or dishonesty the first time, know that this will be followed many many other times, that will some point in life come back to haunt or hurt you. Live your life in truth. Don’t pretend to be someone your not. You will survive anything if you live your life from the point of view of truth.” – Oprah Winfrey

I can’t remember when I first heard this quote, though I do know it was many years ago. Of all the quotes I’ve ever read (thank you certain Facebook people who post them frequently) this one has stuck with me.

Maybe because I married a man who was not good for me and I wonder if he had shown me his true self and I had ignored it. Haven’t we all had someone in our lives who turned their backs or treated us unkindly? Someone who we trusted and then discovered we couldn’t? I know I’ve been that person. I have specific recollections of when I haven’t been the person I had made someone believe I was.

These days, I try to model qualities I want my girls to have: integrity, honesty and kindness to others. When the three of us show people who we are the first time I hope those people think that’s pretty darn good.

All you need are friends.

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Friends can be a funny thing. There are the friends you met in school. The ones from college or university. Those that you met on the job. Or maybe you have new friends from the dog park. Last but not least, there are also new mom friends.

I have some friends in all most of those categories. High school for me was almost 30 years ago (wow!). So, I don’t have a lot of friends still from that time. There are a couple of girls that keep in sporadic touch (read: facebook) and I know we will always be friends, but we just don’t see each other.

I would say I now have 2 groups of friends that I see and spend most of my time with. There is a group of us that met while working for the same company about 18 years ago. None of us work there anymore, we have all married and had children, but we still text, email and get together fairly regularly.  We are like minded and have a good time when we are together.

The last group of friends are those I have met with my children. Or should I say, my children have met friends because I have become friends with the moms at my kids’ schools. Did you catch all of that ?  My kids are just finishing up preschool and grade 1 and some of the first friends they had were a direct result of me.

Yes, me.  I was one of the moms jockeying for position at school drop offs/pick ups to meet other moms, to have playdates and someone to talk to in the park.  And you know what, a few years in and I am still friends with some of those moms.

There is one other group to mention.  The family friends.  People you have known forever.  Since before high school (why does everyone use that as a marker of time?).  Our parents were friends and we, the kids became friends.  These friendships go through ebbs and flows.  Good years and bad.    Staying in touch with this type of friend has not been easy for me.  It might be easier to get an audience with the Pope (should you choose to) than to pin this girl down for a coffee.  It really shouldn’t be that difficult, but sometimes it is.  And. it. bugs. me.  I really don’t think anyone is that busy.  But when you finally get to have that coffee with her, you pick up right where you left off and its nice to have someone that knows you; your background, your story, your life.

But there is a time when you have to let a friendship go.  Or not work so hard at keeping in touch.  Yes, you had fun when you were together, but life has changed.  Maybe you no longer work together.  Maybe the fun neighbour moved away and those few extra blocks make a difference.   Or, it’s the mom whose kids go to a different school now and have different activities.  It is just not so easy to get together and you don’t enjoy her company enough to keep it going.

So, I think it’s ok to let it go.  I believe there are friends for different times of your life and there is nothing wrong with that.   I like the people in my life now.  Well, most of them and they know who they are.

Family Resemblance

Lately I’ve been making comparisons between my sis in Canada and my oldest daughter who is almost 10 years old. The comparisons are not always flattering. To give you an example, neither is a morning person.

Yesterday, however, my darling daughter (I truly mean that) had her first morning meltdown over what to wear to school. I felt like I was watching my sister some 30 years ago. After I got over being irritated that we may be late for school, my heart broke for her. I wanted to rush to the store and buy her something to make it all better – if only the stores were open!

Thankfully, we solved the issue, at least for yesterday, and got off to school. This morning, it was like it had never happened and she was the first one up, dressed and ready to go.

This morning, it was me. I hate my clothes, I hate my clothes, I hate my clothes!!! 

Gotta go now. Time to head to work. Wearing gray. Ugh.