Second Timers

I’m getting married. Again!

It still sounds funny to say it but three weeks ago I got engaged to a really fantastic guy who loves me and, better still, really loves my girls.

Planning to get married for the second time is so much different than the first go around. At my age…and his…there are a lot more details to consider than date, location and guest list. We are both divorced and both have children. All girls. His are older than mine by 10 years. One is thrilled, one…not so much. Mine are beside themselves with excitement.

We have feelings to consider and housing logistics to figure out. It’s not so simple as registering at Bed, Bath and Beyond and unpacking items into our newlywed home. Oddly enough, one of the few decisions we’ve made about our wedding is that there will be no gifts so BB & B isn’t really a factor after all.

But merging two well established households will be no easy task. Purge!!! I’m looking forward to getting rid of duplicates. Some will be his and some will be mine. Things I have been hanging onto “just in case” will be moved out because if “just in case” hasn’t happened by now it probably won’t. And if it does maybe he will have another set of whatever that is.

There are lifestyles and habits to merge as well. I’ve been living as a single working mom with two young children for six years. I feel like I drown in clutter sometimes. He rarely lets clutter enter his living or work space. I will need to work on that. He will need to practice patience.

It’s exciting and a little nerve wracking. It’s uncharted territory for us both but a fresh start is always a good thing especially with the right person.

Single Mom Rant

Unless you are a single mom by death or divorce you are not a single mom and don’t know what it’s like. Unless you are a military wife and your husband is on a long deployment you don’t know what it is like to be a single parent.

When your husband is on a business trip please don’t post on Facebook that you are a “single mom this week!”. You’re not. You are a mom with a husband out of town. You think it’s cute to tag yourself as a mom with no support who now must handle all the aspects of parenting 24 hours a day on your own. How on earth will you ever get a break?!

It’s not cute. You don’t know what it’s like to live that lifestyle on a permanent basis and it’s disrespectful to those of us who do.